My Heart Breaks

If you were to ask any team member the most often spoken word on the trip, the 9 of us would agree, "awesome". And by most accounts this describes my experience on this trip. Today found us at the beginning of week two of Kid's Club, the Lord's Gym, Serving in the nursery, leading Bible study, and serving on the medical team.  After minimal sleep as we stayed up late into the night to Skype with our church during service (the joys of a 14 hour time difference), the van was a bit quieter on the way to Svay Pak.  Morning VBS went well. The guys had a powerful experience in the gym that I'm  sure they will write about in another blog and of course, Mary tended to the babies.  After morning Kid's Club and then staff care session that I lead with Janelle, our team gathers downstairs for lunch with the AIM staff and foster children.  I would say that there are easily 50 plus that  the 2 house moms cook for.  I enjoy this time of the day as it allows us to interact individually with the staff and really get to know them, plus the food is yummy!
As I approach my table I notice a toddler aged child that has fallen asleep on a carpet near my table and I smile at the Pastor and motion to the child.  The Pastor stops me from reaching out to touch the little girl.  He tells me that she was recently rescued with her siblings and that the children were all physically and sexually abused in the home.  Apparently she sleeps better amidst all the noise and confusion and she needs sleep now more than lunch.  I choke up and nod at the Pastor, I can't speak.  I have so many questions, but honestly, they are not important.  This safe moment that this poor little child can sleep is more important than my curiosity.  During prayer I tear up.  I look across the table to Kate and motion for her to join me outside.  I hugged her close & tried to tell her the story through my tears.  Kate & I prayed, and I have prayed many times since.
The sad thing is that this goes on all over the world.  If it was only here I know that it would be easier to rationalize, to explain.  Before this trip our team was required to read about the history of Cambodia and the  destruction of their society under the Khmer Rouge only 40 years ago.  Saturday we visited the Killing Fields, a powerful memorial to the many who were tortured and killed during the reign of Pol Pot. So I understand why this society is broken and hurting.  But what I just can't understand is why the children? Not just here, but all over the world.  How can people hurt these 
innocent children, how can parents and families hurt their children?
Right now on our balcony, my beautiful daughter is sobbing.  I've held her, consoled her, spoken words of love, and cried with her.  She is suffering from a broken heart and I feel her pain.  To witness this really hurts.

During  our afternoon Kids Club I wondered how many of these children were suffering in the same way? My heart is breaking for these children........